It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
