At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
