people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
