i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
