It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
