I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
