He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
