shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
