i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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