At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
