actually, I'm a sock model
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
