I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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