Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
