just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize