Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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