yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
