i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
