That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
