I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
