BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My dick has a subreddit
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
