i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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