Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
