Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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