I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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