Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
