if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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