ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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