wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
