...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
