Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
