I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
