so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Apparently you make a good broom.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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