We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
