She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
