When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
