Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
