Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
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