i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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