I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
