It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
