Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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