Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
