do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
