In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
