dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
