3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
