I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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