she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
