I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm sobbing to NWA
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize