I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm like, not good at living.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
