You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
