the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
