its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
