Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
