there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
