i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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