My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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