Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I intend to get homeless drunk
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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