Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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