when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
