I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
