Your face is a jimmy john
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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