Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
