They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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