new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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