At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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